Well if we can't have Turducken...

Then we might as well get one of these for Thanksgiving!



Eh?

The Five Love Languages

Originally posted on my own blog.


I think I'm just a johnny-come-lately, but I only yesterday found out about the Five Love Languages (pay no mind to the cheesy website design, they're actually pretty cool--read on!) by Gary Chapman. Basically, he posits that there are five basic "love languages"--ways to express and receive love. The five languages are (in no particular order):

• Quality Time - You find it really important to spend time with people and be together.
  
• Acts of Service - Small acts of service really communicate love.
  
• Words of Affirmation - It's important to have love and compliments expressed verbally.
  
• Gift Giving - Giving gifts is a major way of communicating love.
  
• Physical Touch - A hand on the arm, a back-scratch, an arm around the shoulder, a kiss--these are the best ways to communicate love.
  

It's important to remember that everyone experiences love in all of these ways, but Chapman contends that everyone has one that is more important than all the others, and that they can be (more or less) ranked for each person--think "good, better, best." Also, although for most people they are the same, it is possible to prefer to give love in one language, and receive it in another.

For me, it was kind of hard to pick my dominant language. I can definitely rule out gift-giving since gifts don't mean much at all to me, and service (while of course nice) is also not very high on my list. But the remaining three were harder. I finally decided on quality time being my number one--I really love to talk to people one-on-one and spend time with friends and loved ones. Words of affirmation are also very important to me--I sometimes can crave verbal praise and recognition, and when I hear them it just feels really, really good. Physical touch is also important for me. I love hugging, back-scratches, holding hands, etc., though PDA is gross. All that was validated by this quiz (no scientificity guaranteed), where I scored 11 on quality time, 8 on words of affirmation, and 7 on physical touch (service was 4, gift giving 0 :) ).

Like I said, I just yesterday found out about this way of looking at ways of communicating love, but I think it's a very useful tool. Just talking to Alisha about it helped me recognize a source of what had been some concern for me (that she's not a "words of affirmation" kind of girl) but also helped me realize that she expresses love through physical touch and quality time. It was also good to find out that we're both not very into gifts--phew! (but don't worry, I still give flowers or whatever on special occasions).

Overall I think it's very useful to recognize how family, friends, and significant others give and receive love so that you're not talking past each other. If one person constantly says "I love you" but the recipient of those words thinks talk is cheap and would prefer the other person just pitch in with the chores, you can see how problems could develop and both sides feel hurt. Apparently, you can also work on improving your fluency in love languages that don't come as naturally to you, which is a great goal, and one I'll be working on.

So, were you already familiar with the five love languages? Which one(s) is (are) your primary language(s)? Did you like all those parentheses I needed to make that last sentence exactly tolerant of whether or not you had multiple love languages? Have you ever been in a situation where two people had their relationship damaged by using two different love languages without realizing it? I'm anxious to hear your thoughts!

The White Album Turns 40

Only a bit older than mom and dad, there's the "The Beatles" a.k.a. "The White Album", which turned 40 on November 22. NPR had a great program commemorating it that I found fascinating. They include a bunch of outtakes, songs that didn't make it onto the record, and rough versions of the final songs we know and love so well.

My guess is that Dad and Benjamin will also appreciate the interview, mom maybe a little, and Diana, maybe you shouldn't even bother. But here's the link to the mp3. Mom, you should pay particular attention to the discussion of your least favorite Beatles song: Revolution 9 (the word song there, of course, is used in the loose sense); it starts a little after the 22 minute mark.

The White Album is my favorite Beatles album so this was quite a treat for me. Let me know what you think? Learn anything new? Gain any more appreciation for Revolution 9?

Happy Hallobamaween!

I thought this was a silly but fun video with a great political message (try to guess which candidate the video's makers support).

This video makes me happy

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

What do you think?

Root Beer Taste Test

I thought this was a fascinating article. The New York Times wine critics did a Root Beer taste test! One of my favorite parts was their tasting report: "Plays well with ice cream." The only one on their list that I'd ever heard of was IBC, which came in at number 2 (they tried 25 different brands total and ranked their top ten). Apparently these brands are "generally available in good retail shops and on the Internet." Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

In Training

Dad and I thought this article about the importance of hard work, preparation, and goal-setting was pretty good, so we're sharing it with you all. Make sure to read the title closely!

What do you think, should we apply this message to the Sea Gull Century Bike Ride that Dad wants to do for his birthday?

Update: fixed the link, though the erroneous link goes to an interesting article too! (good catch, Dad)

Looking at Eternity through an Escherian Lens

Thy mind, O man! if thou wilt lead a soul unto salvation, must stretch as high as the utmost heavens, and search into and contemplate the darkest abyss, and the broad expanse of eternity—thou must commune with God.

--Joseph Smith, from The Teachings of Jospeh Smith, ed. Joseph Fielding Smith, pg. 137


I was looking at all the pictures that Helen's mom took of the Escher prints and it reminded me of some random gospel connections in some of his work. For example, this first one, called "Circle Limit III" is how I've always envisioned God's omniscience. We are like the little fish things in the print: it looks like our universe extends infinitely in every direction--and it does!--but God is outside of it and looking down on it, so he can see everything in it all at once. And at the same time, he doesn't know everything, but he does know every possible thing going on in our universe. Just like we can see everything in the fish things' universe all at once but if we look up off the page we can't see everything at once in our universe.


This next one is what I think of as hell: always going in circles, perhaps with a false sense of getting somewhere and surrounded by people who think the same, but never progressing at all. The weird hoods that hide the climbers' faces just makes it better. I think Satan is one of the guys just sitting there beneath, watching or moping.

What do you think? Are my theological musings pointless or inspired? How do you try to comprehend the infinite? Have you ever used art or any other medium for trying to understand the eternities?

Mormon Bikers Unite!

I liked this post about Mormons biking to work a lot. It's presented in a Q&A format. A little taste:

Q: Dan, what does bike commuting have to do with Mormonism?
A: Well, bike commuting is a way for Mormons to show their willingness to take responsibility for their quality of life. In an age where SUV owners are actually setting fire to their cars to get out of ownership arrangements they can no longer afford, and where the news is characterized by mawkish profiles of “pain at the pump” and politicians either going to Saudi Arabia to grovel for more oil or calling silly Congressional hearings to whine at oil executives who manage no more than 12% of the world’s oil prodution, bike commuting is a way for us to reject the world’s flailing, pathetic response to financial adversity that results from our own consumption decisions. Besides, I read somewhere that if you go to heaven and mention that you lived in the time of $5/gallon gas and drove to work every day, a hush will fall over heaven and the pioneers will fall at your feet, rolling on the floor laughing at you.
Parenthetically, during the 1974 oil crisis, President Kimball responded to the crisis by asking members of the Church to start walking to church where possible, and he and Camilla led by example, walking to their meetings. Just one more reason he’s my favorite…

I'm so proud of our family, half of us ride bikes and/or walk to work often. Feels great, doesn't it? Let's keep it up!

What to do in the District?

Hey, as you might be aware, Helen and her parents are going to be in town from June 3rd - 10th. We've got a bunch of stuff in mind to go see and do, but I thought it would be cool to get you guys' opinions on a few can't-miss DC hotspots. I'm thinking of things slightly less commonly known than the Capitol and the Lincoln memorial etc. What are your top recommendations?

Bonus: Helen and her parents want to go to a seafood restaurant at some point (I guess they figure it'll be better here than in the middle of desert Utah). Where would you recommend specifically for that as well?

What's your theological worldview?

I took an interesting quiz today designed to determine your "theological worldview" (whatever that means). Now, a quick disclaimer: No, I don't think a 50-question multiple choice quiz can accurately capture much of your spiritual feelings. Also, I think there is some serious bias in the questions and a lot of room for interpretation on some of the horribly ambiguous questions. Nevertheless, I don't think it's completely depraved, er, worthless, so give it a go here!

But, as usual, there is a catch! You MUST return here and post your results. MUST! That's right, no agency. Sorry. I found out I have a dictatorial worldview that has no respect for human choice. My actual results are in the comments...