Gates Arrest

I'd be interested in your comments on the Gates arrest in the Socialist Republic of Cambridge. Here's the police report (see link below), which Gates says is the figment of the officer's imagination, though he does say he asked for the officer's name and badge number. Personally, I have some sympathy for the police in investigating a possible break-in, and I think it was appropriate for the neighbor to call the police (which Gates also seems to be OK with). The police never know if someone is armed etc., whether black or white. i think the key here is when Gates showed them identification that he lived there. if right away, they should have just let the whole thing go. But if he refused to do so immediately, then started yelling at them for being racist, I don't have too much sympathy for him, though 4 hours in jail seems a bit much. He strikes me as a little arrogant (not that people from Harvard are ever arrogant) and I think I've heard that before.

What do you guys think?

Dad


Story from Boston.com

The Five Love Languages

Originally posted on my own blog.


I think I'm just a johnny-come-lately, but I only yesterday found out about the Five Love Languages (pay no mind to the cheesy website design, they're actually pretty cool--read on!) by Gary Chapman. Basically, he posits that there are five basic "love languages"--ways to express and receive love. The five languages are (in no particular order):

• Quality Time - You find it really important to spend time with people and be together.
  
• Acts of Service - Small acts of service really communicate love.
  
• Words of Affirmation - It's important to have love and compliments expressed verbally.
  
• Gift Giving - Giving gifts is a major way of communicating love.
  
• Physical Touch - A hand on the arm, a back-scratch, an arm around the shoulder, a kiss--these are the best ways to communicate love.
  

It's important to remember that everyone experiences love in all of these ways, but Chapman contends that everyone has one that is more important than all the others, and that they can be (more or less) ranked for each person--think "good, better, best." Also, although for most people they are the same, it is possible to prefer to give love in one language, and receive it in another.

For me, it was kind of hard to pick my dominant language. I can definitely rule out gift-giving since gifts don't mean much at all to me, and service (while of course nice) is also not very high on my list. But the remaining three were harder. I finally decided on quality time being my number one--I really love to talk to people one-on-one and spend time with friends and loved ones. Words of affirmation are also very important to me--I sometimes can crave verbal praise and recognition, and when I hear them it just feels really, really good. Physical touch is also important for me. I love hugging, back-scratches, holding hands, etc., though PDA is gross. All that was validated by this quiz (no scientificity guaranteed), where I scored 11 on quality time, 8 on words of affirmation, and 7 on physical touch (service was 4, gift giving 0 :) ).

Like I said, I just yesterday found out about this way of looking at ways of communicating love, but I think it's a very useful tool. Just talking to Alisha about it helped me recognize a source of what had been some concern for me (that she's not a "words of affirmation" kind of girl) but also helped me realize that she expresses love through physical touch and quality time. It was also good to find out that we're both not very into gifts--phew! (but don't worry, I still give flowers or whatever on special occasions).

Overall I think it's very useful to recognize how family, friends, and significant others give and receive love so that you're not talking past each other. If one person constantly says "I love you" but the recipient of those words thinks talk is cheap and would prefer the other person just pitch in with the chores, you can see how problems could develop and both sides feel hurt. Apparently, you can also work on improving your fluency in love languages that don't come as naturally to you, which is a great goal, and one I'll be working on.

So, were you already familiar with the five love languages? Which one(s) is (are) your primary language(s)? Did you like all those parentheses I needed to make that last sentence exactly tolerant of whether or not you had multiple love languages? Have you ever been in a situation where two people had their relationship damaged by using two different love languages without realizing it? I'm anxious to hear your thoughts!

Covenants

Time to dust off the family blog (again). Today I was given an assignment to speak in church next week on the topic of "The Purpose, Power, Strength and Blessings of Covenants." I was also given a conference talk, by Elder D. Todd Christofferson, to focus on - "The Power of Covenants" from April 2009. I've read it (it's a really good talk, I think) and I'd be interested to hear the family's thoughts and ideas. I will shamelessly steal them and use them in my own talk, hopefully remembering to attribute them to you.

Also, the talk assignment included the following question: "Consider/research that only two ordinances are the ordinances sealed in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. One is the ordinance of baptism. What is the other(s)?" I have no clue what the answer is to this question, so let me know if you know!

Some other questions that ocurred to me as I was reading scriptures related to covenants:
- How can a covenant be "new" and "everlasting"?
- How do we covenant with God? With one another? Are the ideas of covenanting with God inherently connected to covenants with others?
- By what means are covenants brought to pass? By our faith? By Christ's sacrifice? By our sacrifices? By a combination of forces?
- Why does God set the terms of the covenant with us? Are covenants one-size-fits-all or individualized according to our abilities?